i'm back

I'm back! It has been a very strange couple of months since I last wrote. Life is never dull, that's for sure. I was in hospital for one month (the whole of May!) following a little breakdown and a subsequent diagnosis of ED-NOS (Eating Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified) and Borderline Personality Disorder with Major Depressive and Anxiety Disorders (say it fast!). I am sharing this information because I don't want to pretend that life is perfect (gives everyone unreal expectations and sets you up for disappointment) and plus I just don't like keeping secrets. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of!

Since I got out of hospital, life has been alternately relaxing and hectic. In the weeks following my hospital discharge I have: 

• Quit my job at the weight-loss centre
• Enrolled into and began a Certificate III in Childcare
• Completed my first-ever childcare shift (and poo-ey nappy change!)
• Switched from being vegan to being vegetarian
• Gained seven and a half kilograms (and counting!)
• Have seriously upped my strength training at the gym and am loving it
• Have gone from natural brunette to blonde
• Attended a four-week eating disorders program (government-funded)
• Am beginning to get my social life back.

Winter cold!

Phew. I can feel myself changing for the better, and have been very lucky and blessed to have my husband and family around me in this difficult time. I have returned to blogging simply because it is a way to keep track of things, and it is nice to look back and reflect on life. 

Today I have cleared my calendar to just focus on cleansing. For me, this involves a nourishing juice/smoothie and homemade vegetable broth diet for the day, writing in my journal to try to get all my mind-junk out and onto paper, exercising (kicked out a killer arms workout this morning), and just generally taking care of my mind and body. I have also done a coffee grounds-and-olive oil body scrub and had a delicious shower to wash it all off, and I highly recommend this if you have a day free for pampering. You literally just mix up old coffee grounds with a bit of olive oil, take it to the shower and get messy with it. Smells yum.

Life is a lot different since I got help for my issues. I now have the energy to actually live and I am excited about it. Will tell you more and encourage anyone who is reading this to GET HELP for whatever is bringing you down. And of course I still have super difficult days, but overall things are looking a lot brighter and I know that I have people around who love and care for me. I will write more about everything that has happened to me in the next few weeks so you can understand where I have been, but for now I am just having a relaxing day hanging with my dog and looking after myself.